In early March, a few colleagues and I went to a presentation by Madeline Levine, Ph.D. hosted by The Family Action Network. Dr. Levine spoke about the challenges of raising children in a diverse and complex world, managing feelings, and learned helplessness.
One of my main takeaways from the evening was that very few people take a predictable path to success. This fact, combined with the knowledge that getting into a respected university does not guarantee our children’s financial, emotional, and social success, can leave parents feeling lost and fearful for their children's future.
Such fear about the future is often transmitted to the child, and an unhealthy cycle begins. What can we as parents and educators do instead? We believe that the approach we need to take is to prepare our children for the unknown.
We cannot know the path our children will walk in fifteen or twenty years. However, research has shown, and our intuition tells us, that it is the qualities our children embody that will largely determine their success. Instead of trying to get each child to walk a prescribed path, we need to prepare them for paths we cannot foresee. I believe my job as a parent is to be deliberate about the person I want my daughter to become, not deliberate about the path I want her to take.