Difficult Conversations

Pete Moore · August 2016

I recently had a conversation with my fourth-grade students about leadership. I designed a Gamestorming  activity to get a better understanding of their feelings about leadership. One of the themes that kept coming up was bravery, which started me thinking about bravery as it pertains to a school leader.

Early on as a school administrator I realized that I had to be brave enough to deliver difficult news and initiate and resolve challenging conversations. This led me to read a book called Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen.

This book lays out a step-by-step approach that helped me listen to understand,  disentangle impact from intent, and distinguish blame from contribution. Most importantly the book helped me become more compassionate and empathetic.

Using the strategies outlined in this book may not prevent all conversations from being difficult but you will end up building deeper and more meaningful relationships when a conversation does become difficult.

Other Helpful Books
Getting to Yes   by Roger Fisher, William L. Ury and Bruce Patton
Making the Most of Difficult Conversations by Mike Riera
Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High by Kerry Patterson

Pete Moore has worked in schools for more than 25 years, as a teacher, division head, and Head of School. Read more about Pete or get in touch.