The Small Moments That Build a School Community

Pete Moore · October 2026

At different points in my life, as a student, an athlete, and later as an employee, I’ve been lucky enough to be part of communities that were incredibly kind and capable of achieving wonderful things together. In some ways, they felt almost magical.

They were places where I felt known and supported, where people looked out for one another, and where I felt part of something bigger than myself. Those experiences stayed with me. I know communities like that can exist because I’ve lived in them, and I think I’ve spent much of my working life trying to help create that same feeling for other people.

When I became a classroom teacher, I began to understand how much goes into building them. They were built on purpose, through hundreds of small moments every day. How we welcomed someone into the room. How we treated one another when somebody made a mistake. How we handled disagreement, noticed people, and showed up for each other when things were hard.

Community makes learning possible

At the beginning of every school year, I spent a lot of time building that foundation with my students. We got to know one another, talked about how we would treat each other, and worked together to create a classroom where everyone felt safe enough to take risks.

I learned pretty quickly how much this mattered for the academic work. When students felt known and supported, they were more willing to make mistakes, ask questions, and keep going when something was difficult. They did their best work.

That has stayed with me as a school leader. I believe a strong community is one of the conditions that makes academic excellence possible. We want children to be known, cared for, and challenged so they can thrive and gain the confidence to think deeply and try new things.

We also want our employees to feel that same sense of belonging. In my experience, people do their best work when they feel valued, trusted, and part of something that matters.

Communities like that are built through the interactions and choices we make every day. I often say that communities are hard to build and easy to break. Caring for them takes ongoing attention.

Being clear about what we expect

Over more than two decades in independent schools, I’ve learned that a healthy community needs a shared understanding of what people can expect from one another.

At Oak Hill, I’ve made this part of our conversations with new families. I talk about what they can expect from the school and what we ask of them in return.

First, families should expect an excellent education for their children. That is why we are here. They should also expect their children to be known and cared for. One of the things I love most about Oak Hill is how well our employees know our kids. They notice when something isn’t quite right, and they care about both what children are learning and the people they are becoming.

Families should expect us to listen and to be honest, even when what we have to share is hard to hear. As a parent myself, I know conversations about our children can be difficult. I also believe that honest conversations, handled with care, are an important part of helping children grow.

In return, we ask families to stay informed and connected. Schools have a responsibility to make their communication clear, useful, and worth reading. Families have a role in taking the time to read it.

We also ask them to bring their concerns to us. One of the things we say at Oak Hill is that no one should worry alone. We would much rather know about something early, when we can sit down together, understand what is happening, and work through it.

How we respond when things go wrong

Schools are complicated places, full of people and many moving parts. There will be times when something doesn’t go as planned, when our communication could have been better, or when we simply get something wrong.

When that happens, families should feel able to reach out, ask questions, and tell us what is worrying them. We need to listen, own our mistakes, and work with them to make things right when we can.

At the same time, I believe we should be clear that everyone in our community is expected to treat school employees with kindness and respect, including when they are frustrated or disagree with a decision.

How we treat one another when things don’t go well matters. Giving someone the benefit of the doubt leaves room to ask questions and understand what happened. It also makes an honest conversation more likely.

Those conversations are part of caring for a community. We need to be able to disagree, raise concerns, and hold one another accountable, while remembering that we will keep working together on behalf of children.

Taking part

At a meeting of Oak Hill’s parent association, our president offered a perspective that stayed with me. She suggested moving away from saying, “We need volunteers,” and thinking about it instead as, “This is how we take part in our community.”

I loved that.

She talked about how belonging often starts with something small. You help set up for an event and end up chatting with another parent. The next time you’re at pickup, there’s a familiar face. Before long, there’s someone who knows your name.

One of her closest friendships at Oak Hill began with a conversation on a bench at pickup. A year and a half later, that same friend was beside her helping with the auction, and they laughed their way through it. When she looks around campus now, she sees friendships like that everywhere.

There are many ways to take part. People can give their time, share something they know or love, help with an event, or support the school financially. What they can give will also change over time. As she reminded us, if this is a season of your life when you simply don’t have extra time to give, you belong just as much. We want to invite everyone into the life of the school while respecting that people’s lives look different.

What children learn from us

Our children notice how we treat one another. They see whether we show up for them and for the people around us, and they hear how we talk about their school at home.

When they see adults being kind, speaking honestly and respectfully when something is hard, helping where they can, and working through disagreements together, they learn what it means to belong to a community.

I often think back to the communities that shaped me, and to that feeling of being known, supported, and part of something that mattered. That is what I hope we can create for others through the choices we make each day.

Helping children experience that, and learn how to add to it themselves, may be one of the most important things we ever teach them.

Pete Moore has worked in schools for more than 25 years, as a teacher, division head, and Head of School. Read more about Pete or get in touch.